Are you happy with your current home phone or internet provider?
Is there any other possible answer than 'meh' ?
If you could be a slice of pizza, what type would you be?
I am really happy that someone asked this. These are the topics that plague our society today, and I am honored to be put in the limelight in order to address these sensitive issues. Thank you again, for allowing me to confront this most controversial and sensitive topic.
To begin, I put it to you, What is happiness? If your answer has anything at all to do with carbohydrates smothered with sauces, cheeses and assorted meats and vegetables all heated up to 425 degrees for 15-25 minutes and lovingly sliced and placed into an appropriately shaped cardboard box that may or may not be resistant to oil, I say to you, 'Well done, Sir." For you are correct. Pizza = happiness. At least for us bipeds with a functioning pre-frontal cortex. But, as I have discussed in my recent book,
Culinary Philosophy: An Overeater's Guide to Eating, Right? , happiness is a relative state of mind that we must envision from all standpoints, including that of our repast. Is it a slice of pizza's self-actualization pinnacle to be eaten
and enjoyed? Does pizza, or any food for that matter, care whether or not that it is being devoured quickly for nourishment or lovingly caressed by our orgasmicly-appreciative taste buds? I, for one, as a hypothetical slice of pizza, would think that I would want to not only be desired and craved, but in fact, fought over. Rather than some desiccated, already-been-chewed-gluten-free-piece-of-cardboard with imitation cheese and low cal sauce. It think that as a piece of 'good' pizza, zen is reached whilst being lovingly masticated and swallowed to be turned into equal parts nourishment and excrement. These are the questions that we, as the 'leaders' of intelligence on our planet must consider daily. That and why does Miley Cyrus still exist.
In conclusion: Chicken - Bacon - Pineapple - BBQ sauce Deep Dish, because that shit is heaven.