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Looking at other women. Pig or Double Standard?

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Topher

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[ADMIN ADDITION: BTW FOR THOSE JOINING THIS CONVERSATION NOW, UNDERSTAND SOME OF THE COMMENTS ARE HEATED. THIS IS A SAFE PLACE TO DISCUSS SO SLIGHT MODERATION HAS BEEN DEPLOYED TO KEEP DOWN THE PERSONAL JABS AND KEEP IT MORE AS A DEBATE. BUT WITH ALL DEBATES IT GETS PERSONAL TO A CERTAIN EXTENT. PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND PRIOR TO POSTING AND HANDLE YO' SHIT.]


Why is it that women get all pissed off when guys look at another woman? Say you have been in a relationship for awhile and you supposedly "trust" one another right? So she is allowed to look at another guy on TV and say, "Wow he is sexy." but should you look at another woman on TV and say the similar it's taboo? Okay I get the general consensus is women want to feel like they are the only person in your eyes, but do they really think men want to feel like just another notch in your belt? That answer, at least for me, would be a no. However I don't see a problem with ADMIRING another person. My main problem is that I trust you enough to yammer on about how cute some pretty boy is, and in return for that I feel like I should be rewarded with enough trust to admire another woman who has worked hard to get her figure. This doesn't mean I want her in bed, or I want anything else to do with her other than basically say "Well she looks good." That person obviously went through some ordeal to get said figure. Nobody is just born with good looks and just keeps them by sitting on their ass everyday. I understand a lot of men are just general pigs with nothing on their mind besides sex; I won't deny it as I too often think about sex, but there is a difference between that and acting upon as that is a whole other rant; but give some the benefit of the doubt. Why succumb to a stupid stereotype? You won't ever find the man you are looking for thinking like that.
 
Holy block of text with no indentation or breaks, at least you used punctuation :)

Personally I have never had this issue, I have done fashion photography for quite some time and when I look at other girls it is mostly at their clothes and thinking how it will look on the girl I am currently with, which mostly ends up with me buying that outfit for the girl I am with.

Also guys think sex, girls think sexy. There is a difference. So I would side with women on this one. But also at the same time, unless you are eyeing EVERY THING that walks by, a little bit of lookie lou is good for a relationship.
 
Lol Yes writing was never exactly a strong suit. Kind of didn't like the way my teacher taught me so English ended up being my napping classes.

But that is what I am talking about when I speak of benefit of the doubt. I'm not the type of guy to go ogling every woman I find attractive, but I do at times find my eyes wander over somebody that I can't ignore. It's never at just at her breasts nor her ass, more so tends to happen to her arms and shoulders, eyes, or hair, or just plain the way she carries herself.

Once had a girlfriend who once said about a celebrity, and I quote, "Oh the things I would do to him." Not a big deal as odds are she will never get that chance I managed to look past that. The next day we go to a local bookstore and I see a woman walk by in this sleeveless yet classy blouse that had a little lace collar around it with a knee length skirt and a pair of cute little wire glasses that in-cased a pair of beautiful blue eyes. She had larger breasts and a slender figure and I just thought to myself "What a beautiful woman." Next thing I hear is "Well if you like her so damn much why don't you go ask her out?" I turned around and said "What are you talking about?" She points to the woman and says "Her I watched you staring at her tits." I was confused and said "No I was actually more looking at her eyes, besides I don't understand what you are so upset about. It's not like I like her more than you. I was just admiring that everybody else here is wearing a short skirt or short shorts and she is walking around in that classy outfit." Then comes this, and yes I know probably wasn't the best thing to say. "So you would like me more if I dressed like her?" "No I wouldn't like you any more. I enjoy you completely just the way you are. That's her and she looks good dressing the way she dresses and you look good the way you do. I find you sexy and appealing just the way you are and don't want you to change." Apparently this was the wrong thing to say as she got really angry and said, "Well you can have her." So feeling wronged and quite frankly insulted I said fine. Never went to ask her out as she was obviously meeting with her boyfriend whom she was kissing throughout the entire conversation.
 
There are guys that get this jealous too but yes women definitely have it socially ingrained more to keep a tighter leash.
 
I blame humanity and its inability to grow past social norms and make decisions based on the people around them and not the Jersey Shore.
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When I think Jersey Shore I think "Snookie," and when I think of her I wonder what the hell we were thinking giving women equal rights. >.> Not to be offensive to any women out there but damn short skirts and power shouldn't mix.
 
Topher said:
When I think Jersey Shore I think "Snookie," and when I think of her I wonder what the hell we were thinking giving women equal rights. >.> Not to be offensive to any women out there but damn short skirts and power shouldn't mix.
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There is so much wrong with this comment I don't even know where to begin... What does SNOOKIE have to do with women and equal rights?

To categorize her in there is ridiculous.

I do agree however that women who wear shirts that open a shit ton on the top with push up bras and then say HEY WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY BOOBS, are weird to me lol.

I mean don't get me wrong the fashion industry doesn't make it easier for women, because victorias secret etc etc. But there is a market for it because they buy it, I don't see guys asking for push up boxer briefs or ass chaps :)

We really do have a huge effect on our own lives in this world and if we just stood up we would realize how the majority can actually impact a lot of it. But we think we have no say and if we do anything it will be in vain, I digress.
 
Rules of ogling: Yes celebrities are allowed. You are allowed one celebrity and if you ever have the chance to sleep with them that is also allowed. Regular people on the streets are not fair game. You are not allowed to "admire" any of them especially the opposite sex. (My version. Yours may differ)

IMO I feel like you over stepped it. If you're out with your girlfriend, why did you have to make that comment? Of course she would get jealous. And justifying that comment by saying that other girl is taken is not okay. She wouldn't have liked you ogling her in the first place.

Topher said:
When I think Jersey Shore I think "Snookie," and when I think of her I wonder what the hell we were thinking giving women equal rights. >.> Not to be offensive to any women out there but damn short skirts and power shouldn't mix.
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This is why you're a dickhead. This joke isn't funny. And because you had to add no offense to an offensive statement DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY. BRO.

Don't tell us what to do, don't tell us what to wear, don't fucking treat us like objects, don't be a shit head. At first I thought you had a point about this being a huge double standard, but now I realize you're just a huge douchewagon.
 
Okay so it may have nothing to do with equal rights per say, however giving women equal rights gave them the right to power and in doing so gave celebrities like Snookie and other women like her a power over modern women that has seriously warped the way many women see themselves. Similar of running along the lines of what you said about the push up bras and being offended if we stare. If you can follow my train of thought. lol
 
We wear what we want to and have the right for you NOT TO BE A FUCKING PIG. Just because we wear something we WANT TO, DOES NOT MAKE IT OKAY FOR YOU TO BE A PIG. What point of this do you not understand?

First person I've ever met in my life who has had a problem with women's rights. LOLOL CAN'T TELL IF HUGE TROLL OR JUST HUGE IDIOT.

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Throw up the white flag on this one, Topher. You stepped into it pretty good.

I have disciplined myself to categorize women into 2 groups: Group 1 is my wife. Group 2 is all other women. I have sex with, compliment, ogle, ect with Group 1. I treat Group 2 like my sister. That keeps me out of trouble.

With any relationship, this comes down to a trust issue. If you have a strong relationship with your partner and they have some good self esteem, it won't bother them to make offhand remarks about other women. But if they are a basket case or they don't trust you, watch out.

I personally wouldn't get involved with a woman who had a rule structure like Kali's. There's no room for trust there. Plus, my wife is hot enough to actually land a celebrity, but there'd be no hope for me.
 
This is why you're a dickhead. This joke isn't funny. And because you had to add no offense to an offensive statement DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY. BRO.

Don't tell us what to do, don't tell us what to wear, don't fucking treat us like objects, don't be a shit head. At first I thought you had a point about this being a huge double standard, but now I realize you're just a huge douchewagon.
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You obviously are not getting my point here. I don't care how you dress. I don't care what you do. However I do believe vanity and power should not mix. It happens with men as well but more so with women. Also never mentioned anything about treating women like an object.
IMO I feel like you over stepped it. If you're out with your girlfriend, why did you have to make that comment? Of course she would get jealous. And justifying that comment by saying that other girl is taken is not okay. She wouldn't have liked you ogling her in the first place.
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I never tried to justify anything by saying she was taken. I never said out loud she was a beautiful woman. I thought it.
Rules of ogling: Yes celebrities are allowed. You are allowed one celebrity and if you ever have the chance to sleep with them that is also allowed.
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It should not be allowed. You are telling me that because somebody made a career off of beauty that they are deemed worthy of breaking a relationship? So I'm allowed to go out and fuck Emma Stone yet looking at a woman who probably never looked at me, probably never will, and whom I will never look at twice is completely off limits because I have a better shot with getting in her pants than Emma fucking Stone's? What the hell kind of double standard is that?
 
We wear what we want to and have the right for you NOT TO BE A FUCKING PIG. Just because we wear something we WANT TO, DOES NOT MAKE IT OKAY FOR YOU TO BE A PIG. What point of this do you not understand?
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Obviously still don't get the point do you?
 
I have disciplined myself to categorize women into 2 groups: Group 1 is my wife. Group 2 is all other women. I have sex with, compliment, ogle, ect with Group 1. I treat Group 2 like my sister. That keeps me out of trouble.
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Still not sure at which point I treated this woman as an object, somebody I want to fuck, or anything other than my sister. I THOUGHT she was a beautiful woman. If my sister dressed the same I would think she was a beautiful woman as well. That DOES NOT mean I was to fuck my sister. Should I have mentioned her eyes? No probably not. So yes there I made a mistake. But I fail to see where anything else was treatment towards this other woman that one would not treat their sister.
 
Topher, it doesn't matter what you said, did, thought, or intended. All that matters is how you were perceived by the girl you were with at the time. There is little to no logical component to this type of situation that makes sense to a guy. You just have to accept it as part of your relationship or find another relationship that better fits your outlook. There is no win here, only pain and tears.
 
Topher said:
You obviously are not getting my point here. I don't care how you dress. I don't care what you do. However I do believe vanity and power should not mix. It happens with men as well but more so with women. Also never mentioned anything about treating women like an object.

I never tried to justify anything by saying she was taken. I never said out loud she was a beautiful woman. I thought it.

It should not be allowed. You are telling me that because somebody made a career off of beauty that they are deemed worthy of breaking a relationship? So I'm allowed to go out and fuck Emma Stone yet looking at a woman who probably never looked at me, probably never will, and whom I will never look at twice is completely off limits because I have a better shot with getting in her pants than Emma fucking Stone's? What the hell kind of double standard is that?
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"I do believe vanity and power should not mix." Maybe you should have started with that and not just generalize women in broad statements. Just because you don't mention treating us like object doesn't mean you're not doing it. You admire the girl for what? Her clothes? YEAH I'LL BELIEVE THAT IF YOUR NAME IS TRISTAN, but it isn't. So SHUT THE FUCK UP.

"My main problem is that I trust you enough to yammer on about how cute some pretty boy is, and in return for that I feel like I should be rewarded with enough trust to admire another woman who has worked hard to get her figure."
Oh so you should be rewarded for not being a douche, rather than tell her that it bothers you she does that? On top of that you're still admiring a woman for her body. OBJECTIFICATION HERE? Sup girl you got a super nice personality that fits that skirt oh so sweet! 90% of the time we wear shit for ourselves not for you to "admire."

"I never tried to justify anything by saying she was taken. I never said out loud she was a beautiful woman. I thought it."

"She had larger breasts"

If she could tell you were staring that must have been some hardcore staring. And you were obviously looking at her breast because the way you phrased it means you were comparing it to something. Probably your gf's smaller ones. So just because you didn't say it, it makes it okay to think it. Well let me tell you what I'm thinking right now. I'm thinking about MURDERING YOU IN COLD BLOOD. Oh but that's okay because I'm not going to say it. I'm just going to think it. Jerk.

"It should not be allowed. You are telling me that because somebody made a career off of beauty that they are deemed worthy of breaking a relationship? So I'm allowed to go out and fuck Emma Stone yet looking at a woman who probably never looked at me, probably never will, and whom I will never look at twice is completely off limits because I have a better shot with getting in her pants than Emma fucking Stone's? What the hell kind of double standard is
that?"

Don't twist my words you pig. This is a game with rules. As long as the rules are agree upon by both parties. It is well within the boundaries of fun. THAT'S WHY COMMUNICATION IS KEY! SURPRISED? DON'T BE! Have you ever thought about talking about admiring other people with your SO? What about her making comments about celebrities? You probably never said a thing about it and just ASSUMED it should be okay to do because she does it too.

I never mentioned breaking a relationship, you're assuming I implied it, by sayng what? SLEEPING WITH A CELEBRITY? LOL I WOULD BED ALL THE HOTTIES IN THE CELEB WORLD AND BE THE BIGGEST CELEB SLUT EVER EVEN IF I WAS MARRIED. Anyone with half a brain would know it was a joke. AND ITS OKAY BECAUSE I WAS ONLY THINKING IT AND WOULD NEVER DO IT. LOLOLOL. GUISE I WOULDN'T LOLOL >.>

No you're not allowed to do anything unless your SO is also agreeing with the rules of ogling. Otherwise you're just being a douche again and thinking like a douche. It isn't a double standard if both parties agree on the rules. Do you have any idea what you're trying to stay you despicable and asinine person you? You're also assuming the party in question will ALWAYS choose sex with their celeb of choice. That isn't the only choice, but in your little fucking head you're thinking oh if I had the chance I'd definitely fuck x celeb, when we wouldn't even if we had the chance to. You're assuming everyone WOULD ALWAYS CHOOSE SEX. You still have a choice with the rules you nitwit. I bet your little brain is think, but it isn't fair if she gets to do it and I don't. Well how about not thinking about how fair everything is as just ask yourself do you love her y/n? and would you THINK about fucking another woman y/n? If you answered y and n, respectively , you're a winnar. Regardless of what she does you'd still be a great and genuine person.

So yes, your comment actually proves that you have a one track mind and can't think outside of the "box." (Haha I hope someone got that part)
 
Topher said:
Still not sure at which point I treated this woman as an object, somebody I want to fuck, or anything other than my sister. I THOUGHT she was a beautiful woman. If my sister dressed the same I would think she was a beautiful woman as well. That DOES NOT mean I was to fuck my sister. Should I have mentioned her eyes? No probably not. So yes there I made a mistake. But I fail to see where anything else was treatment towards this other woman that one would not treat their sister.
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The difference is actually saying, "Oh hey you have really nice outfit on!" Rather than just staring at her like she's a delicious double fudge sundae on a hot day.
 
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